The Healing Journey: What it Really Looks Like

There are common misconceptions regarding the healing journey. Specifically, what is to be expected and what is necessary to achieve real results.

This is because we are constantly bombarded with ideas based on toxic positivity and we are largely influenced by individuals who are spiritually bypassing their way through life.

Toxic positivity is a belief system that tells us we need to remain positive at all times even through events that are emotionally taxing or tragic. This idea is very unhealthy, as it completely disregards our emotions and causes us to bury them deep into our subconscious mind and body. This belief creates shame around our emotions and feelings and prevents us from healing.

Spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds” and unhealed traumas.

A term coined by John Welwood in the early 1980’s. This is very common and many of us have experienced people who live their lives this way.

The raw truth about the healing journey

The truth is being positive or claiming to be a spiritual person is never going to be enough to bring us true healing, true peace or true happiness. All that we seek on this healing journey is only to be found in feeling all of our emotions and facing our wounds, our traumas and our shadows.

This journey is scary, painful, discouraging and full of challenges. We can face rage, depressive states and severe self-doubt during this process. We may feel compelled to run and hide because of the intensity of anxiety or emotions we face. This journey is not easy, glamorous or trendy. It is messy, raw and demands conscious effort to see results.

Though the healing journey is full of struggles, it is also full of bliss, enlightened breakthroughs, new heights of happiness, newfound peace, eye opening gratitude, positive mindset shifts and increased health and well being.

But to experience all of the light, the darkness is necessary and should be welcomed in with love and grace. So today we are going to focus on debunking some of the common myths about this journey and bring the darkness to the surface so that we are able to understand and appreciate this part of the process as well.

reasons to avoid Toxic positivity

Remaining positive is not always healthy. There is a time and place for our negative emotions. Together they are whole — We need to learn to honor both. We have a right to our negative emotions and feelings. We experiencing pain, grief, anger and sadness for a reason. When we take the time to feel and process these emotions we have the opportunity to not only release them but to also alchemize them. To turn them into something better. For example, we can turn our pain into strength, our grief into insight, our anger into motivation and our sadness into art. We can learn so much from our negative emotions. Like where they are coming from, what actually triggered them or how we handled them. All of which, shows us where we need to heal and what we need to work on to better ourselves.

When we fall into the toxic positivity trap, we are not allowing our true emotions to be processed, discussed or healed. We are lying to ourselves and we have shoving them way down deep in hopes they disappear. We are allowing this heavy energy to remain in our subconscious minds and bodies. Blocking us from new energies, true healing, healthy love and new opportunities. The more old energy you carry, the more you block new energy from coming into your life and the more you will attract the same toxic people, experiences and outcomes. There is no avoiding facing your pain, wounds, traumas or negative emotions. It will always be there, until you heal.

Spiritual bypassing is detrimental to your healing

You can practice yoga, meditation, mindfulness and repeat mantras all day long and this may bring you some peace and clarity but this will never be enough to find true healing. These are very helpful mindful practices to incorporate into daily life — they mainly address our ability to get out of our minds and develop more positivity.

Though this is important, it does not address the inner healing that you need. You can go to Church, listen to the gospel and ask the Lord into your life but you will still need to put in the work to heal your wounds, your resentments and your traumas. The Universe or God, whichever entity you believe in, will guide you and help lead your way but it is you who has to show up for yourself and do the work to heal.

We all have met people who are spiritually bypassing their way through life. They claim to be holy, sacred, pure and healed. They say things like, “Well I believe in God, I attend Church, I meditate everyday, I’m apart of religious ceremonies and I practice spirituality and mindfulness”. Though these spiritual activities can assist us with our healing, we cannot use these ideas to avoid facing our unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds or unhealed traumas. If we do this, we will only be moving further and further away from the healing that we need.

How do you we begin the healing process?

First, we need to be honest with ourselves about the traumas we have faced in our lives. This could be childhood experiences, abusive parents or partners, bullying, sexual assault, tragedies we have faced and any event that has caused us a negative emotional response. Secondly, we need to get clear about the emotional wounds we have accumulated throughout life. Wounds develop from trauma, pain, shock, betrayal, heartbreak, neglect, abandonment and any event that caused one to experience deep psychological pain.

Traumas, wounds and emotional issues are all apart of life due to our experiences. We all have them, we all need healing from them and we all learn and grow strong from them. They are apart of our life. They are apart of who we are. We need to embrace our shadows. We need to accept them and be honest with how they are affecting our current reality, relationships and otherwise.

It is time we stop feeling shameful about our wounds, traumas and negative emotions. It is time we seek help and healing so that we are no longer limited in our minds, bodies and spirits. We can all heal our wounds from the past, our self limiting beliefs and our unhealthy attachments and cycles. We can all seek help in healing.

First, in self compassion and self love. Secondly, through outside sources like therapists, counselors, coaches, and shamans. Third, through knowledge like blog articles, books podcasts and videos. The possibilities are endless and there is so much work to be done. Just start somewhere, keep it private if you’d like. The most important step is being honest with yourself. No matter where you are on the healing journey. The work is never done.

we are here to heal

This is why we are here. To learn, to grow and to master life lessons and the more that we are able to do that, the more we will be able to experience happiness, peace, abundance, possibility and overall well being here on Earth.

Thank you for reading this and for being here with me today. Please share this article with anyone who you think could benefit from this.

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With love always,

Adriona Gaia