How to Let Them Go

We all have that one person we just can’t seem to fully let go of. The one from our past or the one we want in our future. We seem to have a gravitational pull towards them that we just can’t explain.

It seems nobody can compare to them and we just want to be with them even though it doesn’t seem to be aligning the way we envisioned it.

We want them, despite all the times it’s failed, despite that they are with someone else, despite that they don’t feel the same way or despite the fact that they are not good for us. So why does this happen and how can we finally learn to let them go?

One reason this happens

You may have a “soul tie” to this person. Soul ties are essentially contracts or agreements made prior to incarnating on this planet. We make these agreements because our involvement with this person will help us learn and grow in the ways we need to during this lifetime. These people are our “soulmates” they are here to help guide, teach and support us. These are the people who we feel like we have known forever. It’s easy, it’s comfortable and it feels right. We truly love them in so many ways and it’s beautiful. Although, it does not mean that we are mean’t to be with these people forever. Especially, if the relationship is one sided or is being forced in some way.

Some are here to hurt us, to help us grow. Some are our “Karmic Twins” and these ties have the power to make us feel like we have met our true Twin Flame. This “soul tie” is extremely strong. The feelings of love for this person can be overpowering and we can feel 100% sure that this has to be the person we are “destined” to be with. This person is someone who has or will deeply hurt us, maybe even a few times. Karmic relationships will be filled with disharmony and misalignment. Though, we will want to force them to work because of our “soul tie” with this person. No matter what we do, these relationships won’t work because they were never meant to last.

cutting soul ties so that you can let them go

The beauty in this is that soul ties will be cut on their own once the purpose has been served and the right lessons have been learned. The appeal will truly diminish once the tie has been severed. If you feel you are in a cyclical pattern with a soulmate or a karmic twin that keeps on repeating itself time and time again ask yourself these questions:

1. “Which repeated patterns in this relationship continually stop it from ever working?”
2. “What am I suppose to be learning from this relationship?”
3. “What has this relationship already taught me or has tried to show me?”

Do not be afraid to be brutally honest and real with yourself because once you have truly seen the truth of these relationships, they will set you free. You can also severe ties through various energy work: seeing a Shaman or Reiki Master, deep meditation, intentional healing and ceremony. You can face the truth and free yourself of these ties sweet soul but you have to be honest with yourself and actively work towards letting go.

Another common reason this happens

You may be holding onto the idea of who they are, what they were or who they could be. Oftentimes, it is not the person that we hold onto. It is the idea of this person. This is the hardest one for people to accept. We typically don’t like to admit that we are part of the problem and that we have actually created a narrative about who this person is and how it’s meant to be. Oftentimes, we create an illusion of who someone really is that is based on our personal infatuation, obsession and expectations of them. Before your guards go up, hear me out..

We tend to create and believe false narratives about people and we look back on our past with them and see it how we want to see it and not how it truly was. We can look forward to the future with them and again, see it how we would like it to be and not how it would be. Oftentimes we do not want to accept people for who they truly are because it is more comfortable to lie to ourselves.

It is easier to believe they will change, to believe in who they could be or who they will be if we just keep trying. Why? We don’t want to be alone or perhaps our infatuation has become a coping mechanism to fill all of the empty places within us that we haven’t learned to love. It is an attempt to not feel our abandonment wounds and to avoid having to truly face ourselves. The truth here is we are “starving for love” because we haven’t truly learned to find it within ourselves (Ruiz, 1999).

Get honest with yourself and let them go

If any of this is resonating with you, there are a few questions I’d like you to ask yourself.

1. What did I lose that makes me chase and feel I need love so badly?
2. Do I love this person for who they are or who I want them to be?
3. How can I start being more honest with myself about the truth of this relationship?

I do not care about hurting your feelings or your ego. This blog is about being conscious of your life and taking accountability for yourself and your feelings and I say this with so much love. Why? Because you deserve true peace and happiness.

IF You truly love them for who they are

True love will be unconditional. You will love this person for exactly who they are in this current moment and you will love them even if they don’t love you back. You will not have expectations or demands for this person to provide your happiness. You’ll just love them, even if they are living their life happily without you or if they are with someone else and you’ll never have a shot at being with them the way you want to.

If you truly love someone you will be able to let them go.

Because they deserve to be happy and to make their own choices, with or without you. If you truly love them, you will let them go find happiness even if it’s with someone else. The real question is: Do you truly love you?

Because if you did you would know that you deserve to be happy too and you would let them go, for you.

The Truth of the matter

No matter which reason resonates with you the most, Self-Love is the key to letting someone go. You deserve to be with someone who is right for you, right now, just as they are. You deserve to be with someone who truly loves you back and you deserve to be with someone who chooses you, who acknowledges you and who appreciates you. Most importantly, you deserve to be HONEST with yourself. It is your time to free yourself from the chains of your wounds, your past and your self-limiting beliefs. You have to choose to let them go.

If you truly love them, you have to love yourself more. You will be blocking your future someone from entering your life, until you fully let them go. You deserve to have all of your doors open to all of the people and things that are meant to be in your life.

The choice is yours.

My advice

Gather the memories and let them go. You deserve to be WHOLE on your own. Take what you learned and cut the chords. Be honest with yourself about who they are and what you deserve.

Love yourself first.

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With love always,

Adriona Gaia